I'm FINALLY pregnant again!!

Yesterday I took "the test." Positive, positive, positive... It's been 18 longs months since my miscarriage and I am still in disbelief. Hopefully, I can get to have blood tests done to monitor my hcg levels.

We jinxed ourselves:) We've been planning on surprising our kids with a trip to Disneyland in October. October 5th-14th to be exact. My estimated due date is October 14th. How funny is that. We actually joked about it Saturday. I'll take the baby over Disneyland any day. Although if my kids knew of either event, they'd pick Disneyland.

I had so much anxiety this morning. All I could do was shake. I called my OB to schedule a six week ultrasound and ask for the blood tests. Then, here comes the panick, all I could think was "what if I don't make it to the six week point?" I hope this isn't another test of patience. I must not be learning because I keep getting tested. I am excited and very grateful for this pregnancy. I wasn't sure that I wanted anymore after I had Calvin but I kept having a strong feeling that we should have two more. Last time I was pregnant, I was scared because Calvin has been just an energetic kiddo and I didn't know if I could take on an infant with him. The more I thought it through the more excited I became. Then it was gone. I couldn't understand why I would feel so strongly about more kids and then miscarry. I just didn't make sense. I know that the Lord has a plan for us and I'm willing to let it happen.

Also, my marathon plans have now been put on hold. I am going to continue running as long as my body will allow me to. I just won't be putting on more miles. My great friend, Shauna, is a marathon go-getter. She has been encouraging me to do this and I was just getting to the point where I was getting into it. She is a wonderful friend and I hope that she'll understand. It's so hard to train alone. Running 2-3 hours out on the roads by yourself is so lonely. You can listen to music or anything you download onto your ipod but it's nice to have someone to talk to, plan your routes with and share the experience. I might ride my bike while she runs. It'll help with more weight control. (just downed two Reese peanut butter cups, not starting out very good)